Life doesn’t come with a rule book

Life doesn’t come with a rule book …or does it?

Very often in our lives, we come against a problem or a situation that can take us completely by surprise, and oftentimes, we find we have no solution for it.

Sometimes we come up against obstacles in our lives and careers and we find ourselves lost again as we don’t seem to have the answer to the situation.

It’s not always your fault, as humans, we’re not really programmed to deal with adversity, and our education or life experiences, can affect the way we deal with a situation.

I always remember watching who wants to be a millionaire with my family and hearing them shout out loud the answer to questions that had contestants puzzled and saying I can’t believe they didn’t know that!

In truth, as in life if you don’t know the answers, you simply don’t know the answers, and that’s why so many situations can stress, anger, and depress us, we simply don’t have the answers, or the tools, techniques and strategies to be able to deal with them.

One of the things I discovered many years ago, was to never get angry, frightened, or confused with something that was out of my control, or I didn’t know the answer to, but allowed myself to get curious about the situation instead.

Frustration only leads to blockages, whereas curiosity opens, up creativity, and you must remember, you cannot solve a problem or a situation, in the same mindset that you enter it in, you must step back and also take a third person perspective.

I firmly believe in empowering people with the tools, techniques, and strategies that they need to take control over their own lives, and although I will never be a crutch for, I’m always there to support them.

Some of the techniques I’ve taught clients over the years include things like a form of gestalt therapy, and in brief, this is how it works, and believe me, it’s incredibly powerful and effective.

Firstly, I get them to talk about or to get into the situation that is troubling them. I then have three magic empty chairs set out, two right next to each other and the third directly in front of and facing the other two chairs.

Now this is where the fun starts!
I ask them to sit in magic chair number 1 and I then get them to get into a state of mind that exists when they are in the situation or problem that is troubling them, and to which they have no solution, and I ask them to tell me how they feel and how they’re going to deal; with it, and of course they have no solution.

Next, I get them to jump up and down or spin around, anything to get them out of their troubled mindset and then to sit down in the chair next to the they were just sitting in.

This magic chair number two!
I then get them to imagine, to simply imagine, if they had a solution to the problem, what would it be.
And it’s amazing how they come up with solutions, it really is.

Then I ask them back to magic chair number 1 and get them to move back between each chair and discuss the pros and cons of what they’ve come up with.
You will not believe how much fun people have when doing this exercise!

The next step is to then get them to sit in magic chair number 3.
Magic chair number 3 is where the rabbit pops out of the magician’s hat!

I ask them as persona number three to evaluate and comment on their previous solutions and perceived problems.

By the time I invite them back to magic chair number 1, they have the answer to their problem.

Your life today, was created by the thoughts, words, and actions, you took yesterday, last week, last month. So doesn’t it make complete sense, that if you start to change your thoughts from today, tomorrow, next week, next month, what an incredible change you can make in your life!

This is just one of hundreds of things I’ve learned over thirty years’ experience and 10,000 plus hours of coaching, and the key element for me, and I reiterate to all my clients, is to relax and have fun!

If you’re looking for clarity or direction in your life, feeling anxious depressed, lost, overweight, or simply don’t like what you see in the mirror I have a solution for you.

 

 

 

In The Garth Delikan Academy, I have an entire series of programmes, workshops, creative visualisations, coaching and fact sheets for anything that might crop up in your life.

For your monthly subscription you will receive around 7 video recorded programmes a month, covering everything from Stress Management, Work-Life-Balance, Confident Life Skills, Healthy Eating, Physical Activity, Mindset and so much more.

If you would like to enrol here’s the link https://garth.involve.me/thegdacademy
If you’re feeling stuck, directionless, stressed, or anxious, please feel free to reach out to me, and I’ll be happy to help.